Talking Dog? How Smart is Your Pet?

Multi Lingual Pets. Now that's one smart dog. And all for $50 dollars. No mention of which languages. I'd want a discount if one of them was Esperanto.

When you Know It's Not Gay

Tag Heuer. It's European, not Gay. Don't you know the difference?

Can Vegetables Kill?

Sweet Potatoes. That's one sweet potato each for these guys. Are vegetables usually a currency in hits? Sorry, I never watched the Sopranos.

Waiting for Volunteers

Volunteer for Surgery. I can understand the reluctance of some people to want this procedure. Even if it is something these offenders could do with.

Getting Help With a Suppository

When you Need Help. I'm not sure, but i think that this would mostly be a personal experience.

How to Lose Weight on Diet Water

Diet Water. And all these years i've been using the full fat variety. No wonder i cant keep off those pounds. Thank God for diet water. I'm saved.

Sudoku for Idiots - You Too Can Do It

Games for Stupids. Yes, even you or i can do Sudoku now.

When Not to Report a Crime in Progress

Hold that Call. There are times when calling the police should be your first line of attack. This is not one of them. Big fail.

Dopes on Ropes

Small Change Bandits. It's a novel and clever idea really, dangling cash on a string for change. I'm betting that these two guys didnt think of it first. Im not sure their collective brain capacity could handle something so complex.

When Using the Front Door Makes More Sense

Life of Crime for Them: You can understand why it's hard for these burglars to hold down regular jobs. They are idiots. Let's give them a break.

When the Headline Says it All

Knives and Guns. I'm reminded of the great line in Crocodile Dundee, "That's not a knife". Next time fella, try a liquor store or service station.

Do I Need to Pay For This Crash?

No Insurance unless you are caught. Firstly the idiot hits a stationary object. Now this. Thankfully caller ID will likely have identified him. Thank you kind sir.

Does This Make Sense to Anybody?

Nonsense Ads. So which genius put this ad together? I'm guessing that English wasnt their first language. Maybe not even their second. Fail.

How to Save Time When Calling Your Child

Stupid Kid's Names. C'mere. Yes, it certainly saves time. I'm going to take a guess and say that when she gets older, C'mere will be changing her name to Raniah.

How not to Dispose of a Weapon

A Frozen Weapon. Here's an idea buddy, take a look next time you want to get rid of your gun. Actually, im not sure there will be a next time.

Stupid Stupid People Under the Influence

Stupid People. Not intended for personal use? I'll hazard a guess that this genius had been using a little too much of the substance. Fail buddy, fail.

Untouchable Party Dancers for Kids

Party Dancers. Give the gift that unwraps itself. And they have this for kid's parties? I'll be darned.