Cats are Evil Dogs Are Loyal

House Fire - Evil Cat Loyal Dog. Its a great headline and apparently a true story. Go figure. Dog saves its owner after the nasty cat starts a fire. Could the cat be charged with arson? And what do you tell the insurance company?

What to Do When Your Loved Ones Die

Advertising Fail. "Now I know what to do THE NEXT TIME my parents die..." So what did you do wrong the last time they died?

Make Your Own Portable Toilet

Portable Toilet for Parades. I understand what they are saying here. It just sounds like you might be able to use it as part of the parade. And why wouldnt people turn up to see a portable toilet?

How Smart is Your Average Cow?

Smart Cows on the Lam. Nope, not dealing with normal cows here, they have been planning this escape for a while. Not dealing with a normal truck driver here either.

What To Do With Your Pet Hair

Pet Hair Wool. Yes, this is a real company. I suppose if you can get wool from sheep, why not have some yarn from your dog or cat?

Do they Have Palm Trees In Iran?

Lost Dog Ad. Palm Iranian dogs? Sure, it sounds a bit like that. Pomeranian. Im guessing this was an transcription mistake, not a failure to understand the breed by the dog owner. Lets hope they found him.

Funny Baseball Headlines Mets Versus St Louis

Baseball Humor. The Mets did what to St Louis? Im sure it is meant to read outslug. See what one wrong letter can do to your news story?

Fun Outings What To Do in the Woods

University Outing Clubs. "We take people out into the woods and do things with them". Im not sure i really like the sound of that. What exactly are they planning to do? Experiments? Or something even more sinister?

Get Your Big Savings Coupons Here

Big Saving. So make sure you cut out this coupon, every dollar counts. Im not sure what the quotes are for, but a whole dollar. What a big incentive.

Robotic Surgery for Prostate Cancer

Robotic Surgery. Is that robotic machine really needed to advertise this product? It may be an effective tool, but scaring off the patients probably isnt a great idea.

America - Osama Wants a Room to Rent

Osamah Rental. I wonder how many people actually called young Osamah to offer him and his Saudi friends a place to stay. Im sure its all perfectly innocent, but its an unfortunate name. Where is Osama Bin Laden anyway?

Oral Therapy for Your Mens Health Problems

Oral Therapy. Fast acting oral therapy from Daniel Stein and Ken Damron. I think i know what they mean, but it does bring some very bad things to mind.

What An Older Britney Spears Looks Like

Old Britney Spears Photo. What, you mean that isnt Britney Spears? Hard to believe that someone didnt spot this one. I dont even know who that guy is.

How to Deal with Your School Closing

School Closure Protest. Its a great headline - and perfectly accurate. Im just curious on what can be achieved by keeping the kids at home. You've heard of teachers going out on strike. But striking kids? I'll be darned.

Guns The Best Wedding Present for Your Bride

Bride to Be Gun. Sure, i can see that with the pink handle, this Smith and Wesson 38 special is designed for a woman. But it really a gift idea for a wedding? Why is it perfect for the bride to be? Handgun wedding?

Huge Coupon Savings For Your New Home

Massive Coupon Discounts. $50,000 off your new house purchase. Sure, thats a little hard to believe, but it could be true. But take a look at the scissors - clip and save. Does this mean that if you dont bring this coupon with you, there wont be any discount?

How To Catch a Burglar in Your Home

Burglar Joke Fail. You see, thats how simple it is. When you come home, tell a really funny joke and see if you hear anyone laugh. Stupid criminals - but its damn funny.

Advice - How To Renovate Dancers

Renovated Dancers. What did they do to these dancers, send them off to a workshop to be refurbished? Maybe they are old.

Stupid Criminals How To Find a Man Innocent

Not Guilty Criminal. "Please, find me not guilty of the crimes i have committed". Wow, thats some defence strategy. Im thinking that Mr Spates, who was convicted of murder by the jury, should keep his mouth shut in future.

How Much Should You Pay for Oreo Cookies

Oreo Cookies Dryer Trade. That sounds like an almighty deal. Just a couple of packages of Oreo Double stuffed cookies and an older clother dryer could be all yours. Unopened packets of course. Need to make that clear.

Planning Your Youth Choir's Mystery Trip

Youth Choir Schedule. Some mystery that! Its a simple stuff up, but i do love it. I hope they had fun in Missouri.

How To Have Fun Around a Campfire

Campfire Fail. Yes, you get to enjoy campfire songs, snack and stories around the campfire. Or maybe just a pile of dry logs in the middle. So who are the Dorothy Peanut Nature Center?

Suburu Engines that Dont Work

Suburu Sale. So the engine is gone, but it still runs? But where does it run, somewhere away from the car?

Murder Case World's Worst Lawyer Job

Lawyer Killer. Miguel Trujillo has a new attorney. And isnt that a job you would relish. The man accused of killing his former lawyer was appointed a new attorney from the public defender's office after he sacked the last one. Yeah, so sorry, it was the one before that one that he is supposed to have killed.

Your Latest Local Garbage Collection Schedule

New Garbage Collection Day. You all got that? Monday's collection day will not be on a Thursday anymore. Does that mean it goes back to being on a Monday again? Or is that too simple?

Carpet Replacement Complaints

New Carpet Issues. I dont know. If it were me, id be keeping quiet about the new carpert. Its free after all. Obviously the carpet layers got the wrong house.

Why Does the Post Office Never Open?

Closed Postal Office. There are often complaints about the postal service. No surprise really when some offices just refuse to open. Nice that they are running an ad to tell us that. Time to use couriers instead im thinking.

What To Do With a Dead Pony

Dead Pony Wanted. Now why would someone want a dead pony? Or is bing dead gentle actually an expression? Weird.

New Christmas Nativity Scene

Christmas Nativity Scene. Im curious what a nativity scene would be without Jesus, Mary or Joseph. Just 3 guys with gifts in a manger. I suppose there would be some animals. So where did Jesus and his parents go?

Funny Police Reports Christmas Card Messages

Nasty Christmas Message. Sure, its probably not the nicest Christmas Card she would have recieved. But is it worth a call to the police? I suppose there was a warning. It doesnt say what would happen to her if she doesnt keep them closed.

Funny Products Nasal Irrigator from Nasaline

Nasaline Irrigator. Im sure there must be some use for nasal irrigators, but i couldnt think of anything worse than sticking something up my nose and flushing with water. Erghhh.

Funny Houses Mysterious Hidden Commode

Funny House Sales. Mysterious Hidden Commode? Is that a really big selling point? You have to love realtors and their spiels.

Masterchef James Klindt's New Career

Murderer's New Life. Its a sad but funny story, one you may have heard of before. James Klindt was convicted of murdering his wife and cutting up her body. He spent 20 years in jail. On his release he set up a small take away restaurant. Nice of the newspaper to make reference to his former life in their "promotion" of his business...I wonder how business is? A quick google search revealved that Klindt has been in trouble with the police a number of times since being released. Poor fella.

Weather Forecasters Get It Totally Right

Weather Forecast Success. Tonight will be dark. But we aint so certain on the weather, it will be 79, bit might not be either. So maybe if forecasters stick to things that are certain, we wont complain about them so much.

Funny Advertising Pepsi with a Lime Twist

Pepsi Lime Twist Advert. I cant confirm if this is or isnt a real advertisiment for Pepsi. But it is a crack up. Im not so certain however if a lime doing this to your drink is a sure fire way to sell more Pepsi. In fact for me, its kind of a turn off. I know one thing...you cant get Pepsi with lime where i live anymore.

How To Avoid Expensive Air Conditioning

Avoid High Prices Air Conditioning. So all it takes is a couple of days and a cool 5.5 million dollars and a Lennox Air Conditioning Central unit could be yours. Maybe its supposed to be 5 and a half thousand dollars. Or maybe they think people who live in raised ranches are made of money.

How to Watch Out for Counterfeit Bills

Latest Counterfeit Tactics. Im racking my brain to work out which person here is the most stupid. The person who thought it was ok to make a bill which doesnt exist in regular currency, or the person that accepted it at McDonalds. Its hard to believe that two separate individuals could be such idiots. So which President features on the $4 bill? Ronald Reagan? May as well be Ronald McDonald.

Moron Tabernacle Choir Music

Christmas with the Moron Tabernacle Choir. Now before you laugh, im told that there is actually a group called that same name. But in this instance im sure it is supposed to be Mormon.

How To Buy Really Cheap Toilet Paper

Second Hand Toilet Paper. Ok, so this toilet paper has only been gently used. Thats a relief.

Do More People Die at Christmas Time?

Memorial Monuments For Christmas. So what is the rush at Christmas time exactly? Do more people die during the festive season and there is subsequently a run on memorials?

Are Dogs Allowed to Drink Coffee?

Coffee for Dogs. Assoreted varieties of Mighty Dog Coffee? Is this for real, or a mistake which should read dog food. Ive never really heard of a dog drinking coffee.

Funeral Needs Call Before You Go

Dont Leave Your Funeral Needs too late. Call before you go? That seems a little premature doesnt it?

Dumb and Dumber Customs Animal Smugglers

Chris Mulloy and Robert Cusack - Dumb and Dumber. I was struggling to believe that this was actually real. So i googled it. Yes, it is true. Mulloy and Cusack, modern day idiots. I just would have loved to have been there. A bird flying out of your suitcase? Two pygmy monkeys in your pants? Holy God. That smuggling business cant be much fun at times. Lucrative, yes. Painful, you bet!

How Dangerous is Male Circumcision?

Health Alert Circumcision Danger. Its a great headline. And if you werent to read the article you would be wondering how some poor cop's nose got in the way of the Mohel's snippers. Like, what was he doing down there? No, poor fella had it bitten off by someone, probably in a fight. Highly charged events are circumcision ceremonies apparently.

Fruit Alert Valuable Oranges

Missing Orange. Sure, i like an orange as much as the next guy. But is it worth advertising in the lost and found? Id go to the grocer, pick up any old orange and take it for the $25 reward.

How to Repair a Nissan Altima

Ding or Smash. Its a bit hard to avoid telling the truth, or being a bit lax with the truth when you use a photo as well. Thats not a ding. Thats a smashed up front end.

Health Advice Multi Purpose Bright Bleach

Drinking Bleach. So the ad all looks fine until you put a bottle of bleach on top of a glass with a straw. What, you really think people are going to drink it?

Front Loader Washer Stereo System

Front Loader Stereo. Play your music and wash your clothes all in one cycle. Always wanted a washing machine with a built in high definition tuner.

How To Remove Your Eyes

Eye Remover. Hmm, is there a reason why you would want to remove your eyes? I cant think of it being a gentle process.

Do Million Dollar Bills Exist?

The Million Dollar Bill. Its unfortunate for N SPurgeon that real million dollar bills dont actually exist. At least, not in most of the western world. And anyway, if there was a million dollar bill, its unlikely to have fallen out of someone's pocket. I mean seriously, where would they spend it? Can you make change for a million?