Reading for Fun - Duck Books For Kids

I guess it does have a picture of a duck. If it were anything else id have some serious cause for concern. But did nobody see the "I" instead of the "U" during the production process? I suppose not. Nice pet.

Drunk Mohel Health Alert on Circumcision

Its not something that gives you a lot of faith in the circumcision process. Im sure its not a regular occurance for a Mohel to turn up drunk to a circumcision. Good thing too. Ouch.

Health Alert Giving Hard Liquor to Babies

Yes, Mike is 30. Its amazing that he made it this far given his penchant for having a tipple of hard liquor from such a young age. Would you give alcohol to a baby? No, i wouldnt either.

Finding the Worlds Best Dream Job

To find your dream job, you need look no further than the classifieds of the Marietta Times. You too could serve at a fast food restaurant. Anyone actually dream of working at a take away store when they were kids? I didnt think so.

Dovermin Pinchter Male Red Dogs Sale

Dovermin Pinchter? Hell, if you cant even spell the name of the dog, whose to know what they really are. Could be 2 red hamsters for all we know. For the record, its Doberman Pinscher.

Police Attend Robbery of a Donut Store

Well there is a surprise. A Cop witnesses a robbery at a doughnut shop. Now how stupid would the robber have to be to try to hold up a doughnut store? Try a bank next time instead of a dunkin donuts.

Stop Kids Peeing in the Swimming Pool

So the swimming pool in the City of Henderson at Lake Forest Park is specifically designed for kids to relieve themselves. We all know that kids pee in pools. But encouraging this behaviour isnt too hygenic...

Why Manure is Bad for Your Health

It may surprise some of you, but manure isnt a health food. You shouldnt eat it. Obviously this story is about E Coli and its potential spread through manure used as a fertilizer. Not something that you would pick up from reading the headline. Get that kids? Dont eat manure.

How to Dress Your Animal for Parties

Is there anything that can be said about this lost and found classified? Why would a Donkey be wearing a pink halter? Dressed up for a party perhaps. But what kind of party. Im very worried for the welfare of this animal. Strange things going on in Monterey.

Dolly Parton and Happy Kids View

Yeah, this kid is staggered at how big these things are. Im thinking that its probably been photoshopped and he wasnt really looking at Dolly's large...um, you know.

How to Best Dispose of Dog Poo

Ok. Is this really suspicious activity? Im curious why a man would offer to collect someone's dog poo. Has this man committed any offence other than being really strange? Its not a good use of police time is it?

Christmas Bathroom Toilet Decorations for Santa

Who wouldnt want to decorate their bathroom for Christmas? But should Santa Claus really be portrayed as a toilet? Im not sure this is the best message to send to kids at Christmas time. Then again, maybe its decorated specifically for Santa. With all those visits, he would need to use the lavatory too you know.

Obtaining DNA Samples From Cigarette Butts

So police are eyeing a DNA sample from a Butt? Probably not the most appropriate headline. Yes, it does mean a cigarette.

Really Dirty Sofa For Sale

I wonder if anyone decided to buy this dirty sofa. Selling due to sanitation concerns? Well, yeah. Use at own risk. Thats a bargain at $250. Some people do have a sense of humor.

How to Direct Traffic in a Diaper

Im just thinking out load here, but im of the opinion that Zack. A Neubert of Saxonburg Virginia isnt all there mentally. Its just an opinion so im happy to be corrected. But directing traffic in only a pair of tennis shoes and an adult diaper while doing martial arts with a stick probably isnt something you would see every day. At the very least it would make people slow down. Public drunkeness? Yes. And just a few cents short of a dollar.

Seniors Photos After Death for Comfort

Right. And the selling point starts out so well..until the last few words..."to calm you when death's cold hand reaches out to you." And whats with the photo anyway? Thats not an image i would be proud to remember someone by. All too funny i think. Photographer fail.

Burial Plans for President Jimmy Carter

Its not the most appropriate headline, but it is deleiberate. President Jimmy Carter had obviously decided to be buried in Plains, Georgia. So the locals were happy about it. Wouldnt your town be happy to have a former President and State Governor buried there? Its ok, Jimmy Carter is still alive and well.

Prosecutors Need A Murder Victim Appearance

It would be quite a coup bringing the murder victim into the court room to secure a conviction. There is just one problem with that scenario. Maybe the prosecutors have been watching too much of Patrick Swayze in the movie Ghost. Stupid lawyers or stupid newspaper editors? I'll go with the latter.

Dangerous Food Warning Contaminated Spinach

I think sometimes that there should be better proof readers when these ads get produced. Yes, it should be for. We dont want to die after eating spinach salad. In saying that, its a very nice salad when made well. Mmm, im getting hungry. Spinach Salad please, hold the poison.